I'm Here
by RedMonocle
Summary: Post-Battle Tendency. Joseph and Suzie, while snuggled up, have a heart-to-heart talk about Caesar. JoseQ with CaeJose feels. One-shot. COMPLETE.


**A/N:**

 ** ** **[All named characters in this story belong to Hirohiko Araki, Lucky Land, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, David Productions, Warner Bros. Japan, and all other additional entities responsible for the creation/ownership of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.]******

 **Aaand I'm back with a fic is named for a song from Steven Universe! :D So that means suggested listening is "Here Comes a Thought" by Rebecca Sugar for added feels .w.**

 **This pairing is honestly _so cute_ to me but writing it is always. Ow. Because canon. I could ramble on about headcanons buuut that's for another fic. Just pretend part 4 never happened and I'll be okay ahaha ;w;**

 **Content warnings for mentions of alcohol consumption and super mild suggestive themes (no, they're not related in this case ;w;).**

 **-Reddie**

* * *

One thing Suzie notices after a few months into their marriage is that Joseph is always uncharacteristically quiet at night.

When he's home in New York for few weeks, they eat a lot of meals together out on the veranda. During breakfast or lunch, Joseph often matches the city for its volume during their conversations at the table. But at dinner, it's mostly Suzie who talks. And it's not that Joseph isn't listening. When he nods to "yes or no" questions, Suzie knows he heard her.

But it's the distant, wistful glances he'll cast towards the moon, round like a bright bubble in the sky on a clear night. It shows Suzie he's not completely there.

And she thinks of the one man she never heard back from, how Lisa Lisa went quiet, jaw tight when she asked how Caesar was doing lately. She was a little more than half-aware there was something between Joseph and him on Air Supplena, between how many hours Caesar spent raptly watching after Joseph in training and the stains in bedsheets she washed. She tries to connect the dots together, only to find herself lost, uncertain.

The distance, coldness, absence of Caesar in conversation makes very little sense to her without the full picture. She has neither the heart nor the imagination to try to tell what exactly went wrong. Even knowing how loud a person her husband can be, Suzie grows steadily more and more aware that she married a rather secretive man.

It's the evening of their second anniversary, spent drunk on too many bottles of champagne back at the estate on Air Supplena Island, when she decides to press.

"Jojo," she croons, comfortable with the tender way Joseph fits his chin to rest over her shoulder, like being right next to her is where home is. Running her fingers through his hair, she begins tentatively. "Can I ask you something?"

"Oh? Go for it."

"You don't…" Suzie hesitates a moment, trying to find the words, "you don't have to explain at length. But, I was wondering. What happened with Caesar?" A pang of guilt crosses her breast when she sees the pain that twists across his face at the question. She tries to answer her own question, voice soft, like she's afraid any hitch in volume will crack through him. "Did you two… fall out?"

Reluctant, Joseph opens up, "Well, that was part of it." Instead of disentangling himself from her, he instead clings tighter, fingers shaking, like he's scared she'll float away if he lets go.

"I'm sorry," She tries to comfort, wrapping her arms protectively around him, "It's a shame. You two were so close. To think he would just cut all of us from his life though…" It's a long moment of silence, before she feels warm drops falling on her skin, hears Joseph's breathing shudder, hitch, trying to remain steady.

"That's not…" Joseph shakes his head, "Oh my god. I can't believe nobody told you… what the _fuck_ …"

"Told me what, Joseph?"

"He's _dead_ , Suzie." He blurts out, voice quavering, "Mom and I ran in and he was… his body was—w-we couldn't even…"

"Oh," Suzie responds, and suddenly, every missing piece comes together. And she realizes exactly what kind of loss she's dredged up, how long Joseph has kept silent, trying to forget, and she feels her heart break alongside his as she repeats, " _Oh no_ , I'm so sorry."

And suddenly, Joseph can't stop the words from tumbling out. All those shards of hurt bottled away under a carefree smile break under the weight of a tidal wave of anguish, of regret unexpressed. Words cracking, he tells her everything he wishes he'd said, how he wishes he'd told him sorry, how he wishes he had run in after him and fought at his side instead of hiding, hesitating, letting him die.

He tells her how he wishes they could have sent him all their cheesy holiday photos, how he could have sent letters, visited with him wherever he would have been living now. He tells her how he never thought he'd miss being knuckled playfully on the forehead, chiding jostles, even the harrowing daily struggle to keep his breathing even, in tune with someone else's.

And as each memory of this place comes flickering back to life, back to mind as they rest here beside the ocean, Suzie almost feels like she is there again, washing dishes while the spiced aromas of bubbling sauces float through the kitchen, watching after Lisa Lisa's fond, sad eyes in the evening, listening to Caesar gradually go from complaining about Joseph to praising his progress.

"Jojo," she finds herself thinking aloud, murmuring fondly, "You really loved him, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, Suzie. I did." He corrects, throat tight, "I _do_."

With that he casts his eyes down, upset to have killed the mood of their anniversary, but then Suzie lifts his chin to let their eyes meet. Her gaze is nothing but sweet, and it makes Joseph's heart twist in the best and most painful way.

She says, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I love him too."

Joseph trains his wide eyes on her at this, listens raptly as Suzie tells him about how they used to be friends with benefits the first time Caesar came to Air Supplena Island. She tells him about how he wasn't always so smooth with the ladies, that he was still a delinquent with a sharp tongue and temper, still rough around the edges when they came together. But he came to soften up with the days they spent, as she teased him over the all the times Lisa Lisa had nearly walked in on them, as she snuck him freshly-baked crostatas after particularly hard days of training, as she sat with him overlooking the shore, chatting until the day they stood together at the dock. Her hands were wrapped in his as he pressed a playful kiss to her knuckles, promising to see her again. He was leaving that day, and only then did she realize how deeply she'd fallen for him.

But she didn't say anything. She let him slip away with prayers in her throat, and the hopes that he'd be back alive when he was through with what he came to Lisa Lisa for in the first place.

"And then, the next time I saw him, suddenly, his eyes were always fixed on a certain boy. I wondered for quite a while, what it was about this boy that always had Caesar so bashful." Suzie croons, her hands gentle as they shift to frame Joseph's face between her palms, "Now, I think I know exactly what he saw in him."

His heart twisting in his chest, Joseph leans in to kiss her deeply, express love and tenderness he's been too choked up to express in words to her. They stay like that for a long moment, and Suzie doesn't break from him, even when his tears return and run down her cheeks as well. She lets him cry against her, holds him close and keeps him grounded.

He returns what he can, never wavering in his grasp the whole time. She hums, feeling safe and treasured, the soothing emotion a balm to the growing sense of loss within her.

Eventually, the tears dry up. Joseph jokes weakly about how they can at least commiserate about what they never got to have with the same man. And Suzie rejoins him with a faint laugh, a mild elbow.

Then he goes out on a limb, and tells her, "Now that you know, he's why… I'm scared about you."

"What about me, dear?"

"About losing you." He groans, leaning against her, "I'll never be able to tell you this sober so… when I'm gone, when I'm quiet, whenever it feels like I'm trying to keep a secret from you, I'm trying to protect you, and I hope you can understand that. I'm still mixed up with a lot of dangerous luck, and… I can't imagine you being home and… and then vanishing as quickly as he did." He squeezed his arms around her, "Never being able to hold you again. Or never getting to tell you I love you, one last time."

"Jojo," Suzie croons, teary-eyed herself, "It's okay. I'm right here." As he hiccups against her, tears welling back up, she murmurs, repeating into the night, "I'm here, I'm here…"

Eventually, they fall asleep like that, enfolded in each other's embrace. And when morning comes, Joseph hardly remembers his words from the night previous, cherishing only the echo of her reassurance, and her warm, solid presence in his arms as he wakes.

He can feel her heartbeat right now, and for now, that's enough.


End file.
